Would you date or marry a criminal in prison?

Category: Dating and Relationships

Post 1 by Runner229 (I've now got the silver prolific poster award! wahoo!) on Tuesday, 09-Jul-2013 16:52:39

The title says it, but let me explain how I came up with this question.

I was sort of listening to this show, and the host had someone on who decided to date this guy who was in jail for murder. I'm not sure if they ended up getting married, but the host said there are people who have done it. So the guy gets out and everything seems fine at first, but she eventually leaves him because he began to build walls around their property and started acting very bizzarre.

Post 2 by Runner229 (I've now got the silver prolific poster award! wahoo!) on Tuesday, 09-Jul-2013 16:54:24

Well speaking of bizzarre my computer began to but I'll finish what I was saying. I wouldn't personally, because it would never cross my mind to look for a spouse in any prison.

Post 3 by forereel (Just posting.) on Tuesday, 09-Jul-2013 17:34:33

No. Here are my reasons.
They are not free to go as they wish, so until they can, I'd not be interested in visiting them in prison.
Next, I'd not be looking in that area for someone as a mate. Offten times people get out, and can't make it on the outside, so commit another crime and return. I don't mind being left, but not because of that reason.
Last, you can never tell if you are just being used for the place to stay after they are paroled. They must have a stable place for a set amount of time. When they are made free to travel, many times they leave you, because you were just the help, it wasn't actual love, or whatever.
Sure, things can happen with people who are out, as to, them changing their mind about you, or flat out lying, but the chances are greater of this if the person has already commited some crime, and lived the prison lifestyle.
Yes, I'd date or marry someone that has been in, but not until they had been out for a while and established themselves in the community.

Post 4 by rdfreak (THE ONE AND ONLY TRUE-BLUE KANGA-KICKIN AUSIE) on Tuesday, 09-Jul-2013 22:09:30

There was a story over here on TV about this site where people can write to prisoners and in the majority of cases, it leads to more of a relationship. Yeh,I've often thought of that reason that Wayne stated that they could be using you to get out.

Post 5 by Faial (Zone BBS Addict) on Wednesday, 10-Jul-2013 7:36:49

This board just reminded me about Carlos, one of the most famous terrorists in the history who married his french lloyer on the prison! This things happen and I don't see any problem with them!

Post 6 by BryanP22 (Novice theriminist) on Wednesday, 10-Jul-2013 8:32:27

Depends on what they did. I certainly wouldn't marry someone accused of murder or a crime similarly serious. Not everyone who goes to prison and then gets out turns their life around.

Post 7 by Blue Velvet (I've got the platinum golden silver bronze poster award.) on Wednesday, 10-Jul-2013 8:36:35

Absolutely not. It's hard enough finding someone you can trust without looking for someone who is in prison for committing a crime. I mean look at women who are killed by their husbands, and those husbands had no kind of criminal record beforehand. So why on earth would you seek out someone with a criminal record?

Post 8 by Shadow_Cat (I've now got the silver prolific poster award! wahoo!) on Wednesday, 10-Jul-2013 11:16:07

Definitely not, for pretty much the reasons Wayne and Becky have already listed. Faial, if two people want to do that, that's their choice, not mine. It's just something I would not do.

Post 9 by Brooke (I just keep on posting!) on Wednesday, 10-Jul-2013 11:21:55

If there are people who manage to make it work, more power to them. But no, I wouldn't do it, for the reasons already stated.

Post 10 by BryanP22 (Novice theriminist) on Wednesday, 10-Jul-2013 11:35:03

Exactly. I get edgie enough sometimes just hearing someone has a criminal record.

Post 11 by Faial (Zone BBS Addict) on Wednesday, 10-Jul-2013 11:42:31

It's also not my choice. But if both people want to do that, who am I to judge them?

Post 12 by LeoGuardian (You mean there is something outside of this room with my computer in it?) on Wednesday, 10-Jul-2013 12:53:03

There is less of a scandal of a man wants to marry a woman in prison than if a woman wants to marry a man in prison. Both can be patently unsafe.
But Susan Atkins, one of the Manson girls, was married a couple times. The recent stalker killer Jodi Arias who stabbed her boyfriend 29 times and then slit his throat and shot him in the face, all while he was in the shower, she has had suitors also.
To be honest, it's often the groupie phenomenon, or someone has a emotional investment, maybe opposition to the death penalty, or some other type of activism. And then there are the actual cases where the person on the outside gets in touch with groups like the Innocence project to corroborate DNA evidence to show the person's lack of guilt.
It's definitely complicated.

Post 13 by Westcoastcdngrl (move over school!) on Sunday, 01-Sep-2013 6:52:53

No, for the simple fact that I've never been in prison and I never intend to be.

I've visited people in jail and would never ever consider or consent to dating or marriage with anyone in a penal institution.

Post 14 by Lena22 (Generic Zoner) on Monday, 02-Sep-2013 2:29:40

Why should I consider that? People in prison are desperate and they'll hook up with anyone that gives them the opportunity., it's not like they have a choice.
Plus, once they leave prison chances are they'll find someone else so you'll feel like he used you all that time.
Prison is an awful place, I would never like to go anywhere near some prison.
Hell no, not for me!

Post 15 by gizmobear (move over school!) on Friday, 06-Sep-2013 9:09:01

i would only be a pen pal with a persone in jail/prisbut if it was you ryan. i might consider sendinng you some money to buy cigs lollol lol. p.s. ty for being a good sport and not freaking out like some zoners we know! *winks*on. chances are they will hustle you out of whatever. money, and or other things. i have heard of friends who pen pal with a prisoner only when they get out. end up using the person then leaving them.